When She Reject Proposal

"They tried to exploit me sexually when I denied the marriage proposal. I cried a lot , but even my parents were not ready to hear me", says Chandrakala Basnet from Banke.
"I was just in grade 7 when I was forced to marry. I cried a lot and pleaded with my parents, but they didn't listen to me. Instead, they even encouraged them to exploit me sexually if I didn't agree. I asked for help from my brothers and we succeeded in consoling our parents.
After a 2 years long silence, they started putting the pressure upon me again. I don't know why, but as I guess now, it could be because the socially rooted the concept that a girl must get married in her early age. Else, she won't be accepted by any man later. Or could be, because my parents thought there would be less economic burden on the family. I kept on fighting with them, for myself.

I was a very good student, but my studies were degrading slowly. One day, I got the opportunity to participate in a training. It was about fighting back when one gets sexually harassed. The incident of sexual exploitation that I had faced had left a deep mark on my life. So I took the Tekwando course. It helped me gain some courage. Then I started participating in social work, listening to radio programmes and meeting intellectual people. This enhanced my confidence and knowledge.

My parents were not satisfied though, but I started to warn them. I had no hope of support from my family. Whatever I had to do, was on my own. So, I started earning myself. Then slowly, my parents stopped bothering me. Later, I consoled them about my aim, my responsibility for them. They didn't say anything. Then I involved myself in a Child Club which was a very good opportunity to build myself as a wise, confident and aware person.


Today, I am the president of Green Youth club, Banke and a facilitator of Radio Listening Group. I have a good public relation with VDC and District level people. The plannings must reach me before implementation at my place. Whenever I meet people they respect me. I am very satisfied today. I have been successful to contribute for the development of my place socially, culturally and economically. I've nothing to be sad about my career besides the dream that I once had. I wanted to be staff nurse, but due to the poor economic condition of my family, I couldn't.
But I have let it go now. I am planning to get involved in agricultural activities. I am supporting one of my brothers in goat farming, chicken farming. Within 3 years, I will have my own business as well. I'm calling my young brother from foreign country to work here in our own land. Today, I'm like the head of my house. My parents rely on my decision before doing something. Today, they support me. I am an aware and active individual now, that's why my little brother and sister have not been facing what I had faced in my life.

I don't mean that I won't marry, but I will marry someone who will be understanding and will help me own my business. It doesn't matter what his occupation will be, but I'll engage myself in agriculture."


-Today's Story 

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